We screw up.
Sometimes a lot, sometimes a little. Some more than others! But it’s ok; it’s totally human. It’s bound to happen. So what do we do when it does happen??
Let me back up by asking a question. Has someone ever burned you pretty bad? Like, super obvious? Maybe they said something obnoxious. Maybe they made a promise and didn’t follow through. Maybe they told you they’d give you a ride and never even showed up. And the worst part was? They didn’t apologize. UGH! For me, this hurts even more than the first screwup. Here are some thoughts.
If you screw up, you’ve GOT TO apologize. And do it in a classy, honest, meaningful way. Why?
1. It’s easier to forgive someone who apologizes, compared to someone who doesn’t.
2. If you say you’re sorry, you are less likely to carry around that regret that eats you up inside. That regret can make you feel sick and can make you do weird crazy stuff.
3. If you screw up, that’s only one oopsies. But if you screw up AND don’t apologize, tha’s TWO oopsies. Studies show that two oppsies is twice as bad as one oopsie.
4. If you don’t say you’re sorry, then people might actually think you are not sorry. And that might cause them to think you are cra-cra or just plan heartless, especially if your boo-boo was a big, obvious one. Wouldn’t it be a bummer if you honestly felt bad about your actions, but that other person thought that you just didn’t even give a flying frick?
5. It shows confidence. I believe that a strong person can admit when they’re wrong, and could possibly laugh it off if it wasn’t a big deal.
6. We were all raised differently, and have different ideas of right/wrong. Let’s say your family raised you to always be up front and direct, and 100% honest. So you share an honest opinion on a friend’s work. But your friend was raised by parents who taught him to always be kind and don’t offend people, and sometimes honesty can hurt. Are you right and other person is wrong? Nah, you’re just different. An apology can spark a pretty cool conversation about this, and you’ll learn something about each other.
7. It shows courage. A scaredy cat would be too afraid to admit they’re not purrrrfect. Which is silly cuz we ALL screw up once in a while.
8. It builds trust. Right?? If you screw up but admit it, then I think that person is more likely to trust you, compared to if you screwed up and didn’t admit it.
9. Even if the person doesn’t accept your apology, you can still feel better in your heart if you gave an honest, heartfelt apology. And emotional/mental/physical health are all connected. (Don’t believe me?? Haven’t you ever given yourself a headache or stomach ache with just the power of your nervous/stressed/anxious thoughts?)
10. That negative energy recycles. You feel bad but never let it go, so that regret is swirling around. And for the person you wronged, it’s in the back of their mind. Which might lead to eye rolling, gossiping, not believing you the next time you make a promise, etc. An apology can clear the air and promote good energy.
So. You may have noticed that I already wrote about this a few years ago. Why am I writing about this again?
Cuz I frequently experience or hear about situations involving someone screwing up and not being confident/strong enough to apologize. In fact, I heard a story just yesterday involving people screwing up and not apologizing or even communicating about it. Now I would totally expect this to happen when dealing with teenagers. But adults? Sheesh. We can do better! Get out there and say you’re sorry when you’re sorry. You will look like a confident badass.
I love you! Thanks for reading!
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